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MAGICAL ARTIFACTS FROM D&D Deck of Many Things This is a deck of cards you can put in the dungeon if you want to screw your players over. In theory they can end up with good stuff, like twenty-five pieces of jewelry, but on the other hand they may wind up with their souls trapped on a distant plane of existence. When the upside is a couple dozen trinkets and the downside is your spirit gets torn from your body, that equals screwjob. The nasty thing is, it's a deck of cards. How can anyone possibly resist drawing from it? If it were a magical telemarketer adventurers would have no trouble hanging up on it, but a deck of cards is just too alluring. A Sphere of Annihilation It's always nice when a magic item's name is also its description and warning label. Nobody mistakes a sphere of annihilation for an ice cream maker, unless one of your players likes to play a half-orc with an intelligence of three just for the comic possibilities. At that point a ball of absolute destruction is the least of your concerns. According to the rules if you touch the sphere only your deity can bring you back to life, but if your deity cared that much about you, it probably would have imbued you with enough sense not to touch the damn sphere. B The Moaning Diamond Ideally, the Moaning Diamond would be called that because it originally belonged to wealthy heiress Angelica Moaning, but no, it actually moans constantly, which to me is enough to strike it from my magical wish list right there. I can hardly stand those mechanical barking puppies, and those come with an off switch. I don't care if the Moaning Diamond combines the power of the Cloak of Serriptitious Rubbing with the Lube of Eternal Ecstacy, I have better things to do than drag around a caterwauling rock. D Talisman of Ultimate Evil In a fantasy world, "ultimate evil" is a hotly contested title. You may be planning of enslaving the Gossamer Pixies of Sharing Glen and making them weatherproof your onyx tower of doom, but somewhere out there there's an overlord planning on using them as cat toys. As ultimate evils go, the talisman is pretty lame. It just makes a crack in the earth open up and swallow a good cleric. It can't even wipe out an entire tabernacle. I'd have to call this a talisman of unremarkable evil at best. Maybe they could just call it "the crack rock." D+ Staff of the Magi This is pretty cool, even if it sounds like the Three Wise Men's secretarial pool. First off, it can cast an imperial assload of different spells. Plus, if you break it in half it completely explodes. I think this would make for a great fantasy Mexican standoff -- although it would have to be called The Standoff of Galthanganogathorinar or something -- with two wizards holding their staves over one knee, eyeing each other warily. Traditionally at this point the unexpected happens, ending the standoff, but frankly I'd like to see them blow up. B+
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