HOBO SIGNS, PART 2
![[Sign]](/img/hobosigns-kindlady.jpg)
Well, a cat makes sense. Cats and kind ladies are typically found in close proximity. Rarely do you hear some gentle matron saying "Oh, you poor dear. Come on in and have a seat, I'll get you a slice of OH CHRIST IT'S A CAT YOU FUCKING LITTLE ASS-LICKING VERMIN I'LL CUT OFF YOUR TAIL AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT THAT'S RIGHT RUN YOU FUZZY PRICK rhubarb pie and some tea how does that sound?" Also, if you're going to mar a kind lady's mailbox post, I'm sure she'd appreciate a little drawing of a cat more than some arrowhead-looking thing. A
![[Sign]](/img/hobosigns-thieves.jpg)
It's a bit startling to see
numbers in a hobo sign, let alone unreduced fractions. I can only assume
that "2/10" has some incredibly clever significance that only the hobo
mind can appreciate in its entirety. I checked the Bible, and the closest
I could come has Hosea 2:10, which reads "And now will I discover her
lewdness in the sight of her lovers, and none shall deliver her out of
mine hand." Which has nothing to do with hobos or thieves, but trust
me, it's one of the more interesting options. C-
![[Sign]](/img/hobosigns-doctor.jpg)
I haven't been able to track down the symbol for "A doctor lives here,
he charges four cans of beans and a cigar butt" which presumably would
be the next-best option. I wonder if newbie hobos sometimes get all whiny
if it turns out the doctor was just feeling generous with the hobo who
made the sign, and try to convince the doctor that it's really unfair
to charge when a random scratching outside his house says he won't.
I also wonder if the phrase "newbie hobo" has ever been typed before
in the history of time. C+
![[Sign]](/img/hobosigns-ruined.jpg)
I am left to imagine how hobos ruin things for other hobos. I'd like to
think that it's kind of like an independent music scene, with hobos
getting all huffy because this new batch of hobo wannabes just got
into hobodom because they saw it in some Adam Sandler film and thought
it was cool and they just don't understand what it means to
be a hobo, man. But it's probably just due to limited hobo resources such
as unguarded windowsill pies, top hats with the lid kind of torn and
sticking out, and people who are willing to listen to another rendition of "Big Rock Candy Mountain"
without throwing things. C
![[Sign]](/img/hobosigns-quiet.jpg)
If you're going to have to pay attention to random signs telling you
to keep quiet, you may as well give up being a hobo and go back to
being a tramp, transient, or bum. I'm also annoyed by the lack of
specificity here. There are hobo signs for "mean dog" and "man with
gun," you'd think there would be signs for "sleeping baby and
irritable mother with gun," "librarian with gun," and "voice-activated
gun" so you wouldn't have to wonder why you're being quiet. D
