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PHANTOM MENACE SPEED RATINGS


Queen Amidala's lower lip: A+

"My sideburns, chicks dig. Hot, they make me look.": C-

Darth Torso: A

Testing positive for Jedi: D+

Leia's hairdo justified at last: B

"Hey, Padme's totally hitting on Anakin!": C-

The Littlest Greedo: C

Darth Chin: C+

Collapsible Droids: B+

Jabba the Hutt and his Amazing Musical Cuspidor: B-

Hot hot double-sided lightsaber action: A+

"The chair recognizes the delegate from planet Spielberg": A-

And the Oscar for Most Blatant Messianic Reference goes to...: D

"Shmi." What is that? Welsh?: C+

The Tusken Raider Biathlon: B+

Wacky Battle Syndrome: D-

Thanks to Mike for contributions to the post-screening quipfest.

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Copyright 2003 Lore Sjoberg