|
Recent The Legion of Doom Video Rating Other Lore Sites |
|
PORN TITLES TAKEN FROM A LIST SOME GUY POSTED TO USENET No Cum Dodging Allowed Mostly I just want to see the sign for this one. Clearly, in an international sport like bukkake, there have to be pictorial symbols to indicate when cum dodging is allowed, not allowed, and encouraged. Now that I think of it, when is it ever allowed? Is there some whole semen-evasion subgenre that I haven't been informed of? At any rate, any title that spells the word come as "cum" gets marked down a whole letter grade, so: D- Space Invaderz I'm totally unclear on the significance of the "z" in "Space Invaderz." I thought I understood z-plurals: they indicate something which is both youth-oriented and extreme. So, while "tea cozies" are something cherished by old ladies wearing shawls, "tea coziez" are all the rage among adrenalin-infused, rapping, snowboarding youth who may or may not be wearing "shawlz." So why is this called "Space Invaderz"? Is the "z" in this context intended to indicate "in a body orifice, most likely the butt"? Just when I think I have the alphabet figured. D Gangbang Auditions #7 Uh. It seems to me that once you've gotten seven installments in a series, you can't really pretend it's an audition anymore. How would you distinguish it from an actual gangbang, anyway? It seems to me that if there is a gang, and there is banging, then there's no "audition" about it. Do they say "Do Greg here, but pretend he's eight guys"? I don't think that's going to lead to an accurate assessment of someone's actual gangbang skill set. Even more of a conundrum is the question of whether they held auditions for "Gangbang Auditions #7," and if they did, what they called the resulting video. This could lead to "Gangbang Audition Tryout Demonstration Screening Tests #72." C- It's Raining Tushy Girls The mind staggers. I try to picture what it would mean to be in the middle of a pleasant summer rain of tushy girls, or perhaps a tempestuous deep-winter tushy girl storm. Maybe you're the captain of a schooner, rounding the horn, and the first mate bursts into your cabin, eyes wild with fear. "Cap'n!" he says. "It's raining tushy girls!" But my brain just rejects it, perhaps because I'm not sure what a "tushy girl" is. I think it involves butt dimples. At any rate, I'm pretty sure this is what Charles Fort masturbated to. B Rocco: Animal Trainer Man, I can think of about six things this could be, none of them appetizing. A best-case scenario is that it's some sort of porn version of Steve Irwin's schtick, with some long-schlonged ex-bodybuilder gamely attempting an Australian accent while surrounded by...women dressed up as crocodiles and dingos, I guess. I hope, because all the other options are even more distasteful. I never thought I'd reach the point in my life where I'd be saying, "Boy, I hope this video has women dressed up as crocodiles and dingos in it." D-
|
|
|
